Eternal Masturbation

      I think I have previously explained that my (at this time 11 yearsold, but nearing teenage angst) child has not got the greatest filter.

  So, of course the things that she blurts mostly have no effect on me. It is often what I would describe as selective Aspergers with a twist. She usually only says things once and always (damn it) has a pretty good explanation. Even if the explanation does only make sense to her.

   I'm getting to the point here. We do have to take a step back of probably six months.

   Grade Six. Sex Ed! Which at this time we shall name 'Human Sexuality Education' because the Teacher said so. The 'Teacher', being a woman who also wanted the class to use the word 'well' instead of 'nice' or 'good'..   I was always under the illusion that 'Teachers' taught. This year it would appear not, but that is not a tangent I want to go off on at this point in time.

  So, at the start of G6 we get the letter sent home to notify us that Sex Ed is on the horizon. We sign the permission slip and send it back to school. Now, I really couldn't care less because by this time, Shakka has read quite a huge amount of Tortora and Grabowski's 'Anatomy and Physiology', several books in the series of 'It's not the Stork' and she has been telling jokes filthier than a Coal Miners tadger for years.

  In addition, the word 'Penis' had been bandied around for weeks prior to class so that no one would become hysterical, were it mentioned by a Teacher.

Sex Ed day one. Shakka heads to school and doesn't bat an eyelid...

    Of course Shakka is not your regular 'Sex Ed' student. Opinionated as ever, she had to bring to our attention at the end of day one that this was a huge farce.

    "They separated the Boys and Girls" she raged as she returned home from school after the first day.
"Are they stupid?" pause for a deep breath and back to rage "DO THEY NOT THINK THAT WE ARE GOING TO DO IT TOGETHER?"
   I could not recreate if I tried, my reaction, but lets just say I was close to requiring the aid of Depends from the lower region and I could have quite possibly produced a couple of dozen candles with the amount of snot I was discharging at the head end.

    We survived that and it all went quiet on the 'Sex Ed' front... until last week when another permission slip appeared on the kitchen island.

It was signed, sealed and sent back. Not another peep did we hear, until I goaded a response on the School run home on Friday.
"so, did they split you up again for 'Sex Ed'?", I prompted.  "you know they did" was the response.
"so, it looks like a life of eternal masturbation for you guys" I offered.

 "what a great name for a band!" came the response. "Eternal Masturbation"